A member of my tribe at hipsobriety posted this question in our community today.
Why is it always my fault? Why is it always presumed that because I am "one of the broken ones" that the problem must be me?
One of the most surprising truths that I have discovered over the past year is that recovering addicts are amongst THE BEST, most inspiring, honest, badass, miraculous beings ON EARTH. We have a beauty and humility, a certain kind of strength and gratitude that most people will never have, will never understand.
I think that it is human nature to shift responsibility onto others rather than face our own short comings, mistakes and flaws. Again, we recovering addicts have an ability to understand this beyond what most people ever could. We were prepared to slowly but surely kill ourselves rather than face our own fears.
I think the shift has to come from within us in order to shake up the blame patterns within our relationships. We have to forgive ourselves for the lost years and the fucked up things that we said and did. We have to change our own perception of ourselves, a perception that many of us learned through shitty childhoods compounded by society at large and media telling us and everyone else what we should all have and be and do to be of value. We have to stop blaming ourselves and step out of that pattern of being. We must compassionately refuse to be put in that box any longer, by ourselves or anybody else.