I am going to the ocean today. Tonight is the night of the Super Full Moon. She is closer than she has ever been to earth in my entire lifetime and she is closer than she will be again until 2034. I am honoring her. I am renting a car and driving 250 kilometers north to be close to my loves – myself, my ocean, my moon.
I will need warm clothes for windy night time walks along the Pier. Will I do that? Will I be brave enough to walk along the Pier at night by myself?
I have been afraid for so long. I used to equate recklessness with courage. Then I became so careful and so afraid. I have been living in a cage that I built myself. Too afraid to spread my wings just in case I am able to fly. I fear for my personal safety as a foreigner in this land but mostly as a woman. I am afraid of leaving myself vulnerable by simply being alone, without a man.
At the same time, as I write this, I feel the warrior in me rumbling in my bones. Telling me she is protecting me. That she is always protecting me. That all I need do is listen and ask. She is here and she is ready to rise. It is not physical strength. It is warrior strength. It is universal strength, knowledge, wisdom of the oceans, of the moon of all the women who have come before me.
With my voice, I rise. With my heart, I rise. With the ocean, I rise.
We don’t all get to have great mothers. That does not mean that we have to stay asleep. It does not mean that we can not come alive. We must rise. We must wake up and listen. Listen to the Great Mother inside and rise. Let out own inner truth, our own love be our guide. We must learn to be our own mothers.
I love you Caitlin.
Rise, sister, rise.